“Take your finger out of your nose” and other things I didn’t think I would say.

“What do you mean I don’t live in the city?” or what happened to my fast-paced promises?

Two months ago when I moved back to China, I thought this would be much easier than the first go around. After all, I’ve done this before. I lived in Guangzhou, China for a year from Feb 2014 -Feb 2015. I had this one. In short, I did not have this one.

When the car stopped at the north gate of Jinsha Senior High School in Jintan, China I was perplexed to say in the least. I was promised “bright lights and the big city” of Changzhou; I rolled up to a dimly lit, ramshackle construction zone in the middle of what could be described as random farmland and shrubbery. (Jintan, it turns out, is under the rule of Changzhou even though it’s a different city.) Jintan has its charms, to be sure. The air is much cleaner than in the big cities. The greenery is expansive and lush. The multiple small lakes surrounded by towering trees and sprawling parks are relaxing and picturesque. There are even two major shopping centers. Multiple alleyways boast dozens of shops lining their sides. If you need it, you can find it. It is not, however, the massive metropolitan area I signed on for. Luckily, Changzhou is just an hour away from Jintan so a day trip, once I figure out the public transit I take to get there, is not out of the question! I am looking forward to exploring my little town and its surrounding big cities more as my stay here extends.

“Please, take your finger out of your nose. I’ve already talked to you about this today,” or one of the reasons I use bing.com’s translation app.

I cannot lie. I fully expected to have an aid in my classroom. Six year old Chinese children are not usually fluent in English. Let’s be honest, no matter how much you like someone, after maybe 10 minutes of listening to what must sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown, six year olds loose interest. So do 10 year olds – the other age group I teach. Have you ever look into someone’s eyes and realized “Ah, they have no idea what I’m talking about”? Me. Every day. Enter the life saving apparatus known as translation on bing.com. It’s not always accurate, but it definitely knows more Mandarin than I do. Simple phrases such as “point to the letter that matches the sound I say” makes much more sense to them now. After a few rounds of translation, the students even start to learn the English phrase, and I get to phase out the translator for some phrases. I count that as a win. Of course, part of my job is teaching complex grammar and nuanced culture as well which, without a human translator, leads to some very expressive body language on my part and the melodious, feminine tones on the part of Bing’s translator app.

“I’m so sorry, but no matter how much you speak to me, I still don’t speak Mandarin” or some of the ways to feel like a toddler as an adult.

Let’s be real. Mandarin is a difficult language to learn. I have been struggling my way through the very basics of this language for a few months and am still not conversational. Granted, I only took one semester of it in college, but I thought I’d have a better grasp of the vocabulary at least. Nope. My lack of knowledge does not usually deter the people from speaking with me though. I can have the most obvious deer-in-headlights look plastered across my face, but the lovely person speaking to me will continue their very one sided conversation. I genuinely love that they make the effort to speak to me, and if I happen to understand them, I do my best to speak back! There are many instances, though, where I clearly have no idea what’s happening. That feeling pervades all of my life here. Things just kind of happen.

“So I got on the bus today, and I missed my stop. So I got off at the next stop, but I’d never been there before. I wandered around for an hour or so before I found the bus stop I needed. But, I did find this really cool little coffee shop! The owner was really nice. I’ll take you there next time.” Just wandering around, either on purpose or on accident, is a common way to discover new places. We’ve found delicious restaurants, cool bars, and cozy coffee shops just by wandering around. The feeling of being a child, though, still persists. If you are with a group of native Chinese speaking people and wandering with them, they will both literally and metaphorically lead you by the hand. You’ll just be walking along and they suddenly take you by the arm and lead you a completely different direct. “Where are we going? What’s happening? What did he say? Did I do this wrong? What’s that? Why do you do this? Where are we again? Why are we here and not there? Why is this process so difficult?” and many more. Luckily, I’ve been greatly blessed with delightful Chinese coworkers who are striving to improve their English. My incessant line of childlike questions provides them with ample opportunity to practice their speaking skills. I’ve also discovered that many of the people enjoy sharing their culture with someone who is genuinely interested in it! Score for me!

“There’s no way I can stay here; I’m leaving” or one of the lies I told myself.

I almost left within two weeks of landing here. The gap between what I was told and the reality of the situation was vast. I felt like it would take an Evil Knievel level of bravery to jump over the “leave now or stick it out” canyon. God’s strength persisted through my own weakness; He provided me with friends.

When I wrote the first couple of attempts at this blog post, they sounded much different. They came from a place of anger and disappointed hopes; they were not good. One of them just turned into a running list of problems and discrepancies. The other was a half formed thought and a rant mashed together into an unholy union. I gave up trying to write anything for a while. Then, as I was walking down the hallway, literally the most bland part of a day, it hit me. I had something to be very thankful for. Sure, there is a hole in my wall that goes all the way through to the outside. Sure, I plugged that hole with a sock. Sure, I’ve had to Raid cockroaches the size of toddlers. Sure, I live in a building currently under construction. BUT. I realized I was happy. Not the on-top-of-the-world happy, but the more subtle this-was-a-good-day kind of happy. The people I have been privileged to meet here are some truly amazing people.

At first, I was the only foreign woman on staff at the school. All of the other foreign teachers were male and significantly older than I am, except for one who is only five years older. Their…unique… personalities are slightly overwhelming. I did not particularly see any close alliances in my midst. My next door neighbor moved in with her husband and two kids about two weeks after the school year started. I am incredibly grateful for her and her family. They are warm and quite literally inviting. We were able to lean on each other for support in those early days when adjustment was difficult but necessary. We found we have many of the same interests and share an adventurous spirit. We also love getting to know people socially and are striving to improve our Mandarin which has led us to spearheading a social group at school for the weekends and having a couple joint Mandarin lessons. We explore the city together and help each other out when we need it.

I was struck so suddenly with overwhelming gratitude for all of these people – the Chinese teachers and administrators and my fellow foreign co-teachers – that day in the hallway that I physically stopped walking for a second. I realized that God had blessed me with good people, and they made all the difference. No matter the working or living conditions, I am surrounded by good people. My co-teachers are friendly, outgoing, and inviting. They assist me with translations, explanations, and cultural understanding. They give me tips on how to live here and even help me find real estate agents and tell me a good price for mopeds and rent. One of the administrators is even my Mandarin tutor; she’s helping me learn proper stroke names and proper stroke order so I can read and write Mandarin Chinese! Our VP – an Australian – and his lovely Chinese wife have hosted multiple feasts in their home featuring Western and Chinese style foods. A group of us went to a local German brew house one evening and stayed for hours. In short, God has – as He always has – taken care of me here.

We’ve got a trip to Beijing coming up this weekend, and we, me and my friend’s family, are hoping to be able to move out of the teacher’s dormitory and find our own apartments by the middle of November. Once we have our own apartments, we are going to buy mopeds! I know. I shouldn’t be this excited about a moped, but the public transit here is quite sketchy, and the school is very far away from the town. To be able to have some independence in the world of transportation – besides walking – is the dream. By the next blog, all of these things will have, hopefully, happened, so there is much more to look forward to here!